12/20-Just Friends (2005)

This movie may not have invented the phrase "the friendzone," but I would definitely credit it for bringing it into the common lexicon.  The concept, should you not know, is simple.  I'll let Ryan Reynolds' character explain it to you himself: "See when a girl decides that you're her friend, you're no longer a dating option. You become this complete non-sexual entity in her eyes, like her brother, or a lamp."  On the internet, this idea went hand-in-hand with the "neckbeard" stereotype.  Anyway, let's talk about this movie specifically.

Chris Brander (Ryan Reynolds) was fat in high school and in love with his best friend, Jamie Palamino (Amy Smart) but she only loved him "like a brother," because she always dated jerks (at least according to Chris).  Fast forward ten years, Chris has lost a ton of weight and is a big-ish wig at a record label, and clearly became an asshole.  Now, whether he got fit and worked hard at his job and success, both with women and his career went to his head and led to his asshole-ish-ness, or if he became an asshole, then got fit and succeeded, it is unclear.  But what is clear is that he's fit, he's successful, and he's an asshole.

Her latest album cover

His latest assignment from his boss (the incredible Stephen Root) is to sign the hottest singer at the moment, Samantha James (Anna Faris, picture above in character), with whom Chris has had a previous relationship.  Chris is reluctant to take on the assignment, as things didn't necessarily end well because "bitches be crazy" (that's not a quote from the movie, but summarizes his sentiment).  He agrees eventually and the two embark from LA to Paris.

Of course things don't go well on the plane, and after Samantha microwaves some tin foil, the plane has to emergency land in New Jersey, conveniently where Chris grew up.  And lo and behold, Jamie is still living in that same town!  This is Chris' big chance to finally get with Jamie!  Or at least that's what's going on in his head.

Sadly for Chris, however, his new douchey, showoff antics are lost on a more mature Jamie, who's grown out of her fondness for assholes (if that was even really the case and not just the skewed perspective from Chris' love-addled mind).  Despite his jerk ways, there's still a scene that bothers me where the two go out to lunch to someplace they clearly went a lot as kids.  Before having a chance to order, the waitress who recognized them from ten years ago brings what they would order in the past, which is a soup and sandwich for Jamie and a huge stack of chocolate and whipped cream covered pancakes.  Because showing is better than telling, here's the scene:

Like, I just don't think Chris was being all that rude.  The waitress wrongfully assumed that they would want the same thing that they ordered over a decade ago, and when they were kids.  All diet stuff aside, tastes change a lot from high school into early adulthood.  You just shouldn't make assumptions when your latest information is ten years old.  And furthermore, his initial response is pretty respectful in declining the plate of diabetes.  Even his whale comment, though dripping in sass, is a self-deprecating line.  He takes things a little too far with the passive-aggression regarding the water at the end, but it was still in my opinion an overreaction by both the waitress and Jamie.

Rant over, things aren't going well, and enter other old classmate, Dusty (Chris Klein) who was gross in high school, but is now a hotty just like Chris, but not an asshole.  He's an EMT and volunteers with kids, and is just all-around a great dude, much to Chagrin of Chris.  Jamie's interest in Dusty, however, clues Chris into the idea that she's into nice guys now, so he reverts to his old, sensitive self to try and win her affection.

What unfolds is a pissing contest of sorts to be the most sensitive to win Jamie's affections, but in reality just turns into cringey moment after cringey moment.  Enjoyable cringe, but still cringe.  This is all happening over Christmas, by the way, hence why I watched it during this month.  There's a group of carolers who act as kind of a soundtrack during scene changes, which is an interesting narrative choice.  It's an enjoyable holiday movie that has more laughs than holiday cheer.

Rating on the feel-good-o-meter: 5 out of 10 hugs