12/22-Home Alone 2: Lost in New York (1992)

First off, look at that fucking poster.  That is so fucking baller and terrifying.  Why aren't posters like that anymore?  Minus the unreadable yellow font, of course.

Number two: I have to admit, about 80% of my impetus to watch this movie was simply to post this amazing John Mulaney bit. (Jump to the 1:00 for the relevant joke, although you can watch what you want)

So Home Alone 2: Lost in New York takes place a year after the eventful events of the first film, and once again, the entire McCallister clan is going on a group vacation.  You may have noticed that I used the adjective form of the noun event to describe said event, and you may have thought to yourself, "hmm, that seems like repetitive and lazy writing."  And you'd be right.  I'm a lazy writer, and so is John Hughes because everything about this movie is exactly the same as the first, but different because it's in New York!  But still the same basic movie.

Well said, James Franco

The McCallisters go on a different vacation from Kevin, just like in the first.  The annoying little cousin (played by Macauley's little brother) still drinks an insane amount of soda, but this time it's Coke and not Pepsi, so that's different!  But he also initially freaks out in both, only to become comfortable with his situation in a surprisingly short amount of time.  He eats another obscene amount of ice cream while watching yet another gangster movie.  The Wet Bandits (now Sticky Bandits) show up to rob a place, and Kevin inevitably stops them using Rube Goldberg-esque booby traps in a house (yes, he finds a house booby trap in New York, but we'll get into that later).  And there's even someone who seems really scary, but is actually very friendly.  So like James Franco said, they're the same same, but different, but still same.

But is it even worth watching if they're samesies?  Yeah, probably, it's pretty fun.

I mean, Tim Curry plays a very suspicious concierge, whose bellhop lackey is played by the incomparable Rob Schneider.  In fact, this was one of the Schneider-meister's first films.  Had this movie not been made, he might not have been cast in Demolition Man or Judge Dredd, then who's to say where Rob would be today?  Thank god we don't have to worry about those what ifs.

"What am I doing with my life?"-Tim Curry and Maggie Smith clone
"My life is awesome"-Rob Schneider

Now, I could sit here and go into detail about all the fun things Kevin did while in New York, and all the horrible things he did to two terrible thieves, but instead, I'm going to mention a few points of interest then play you all a video like a high school teacher with a hangover.

First of all, Kevin mocks the rest of his family for wanting to go to Florida over Christmas because it doesn't feel like Christmas in Florida.  And yet, the first thing he does after checking into his New York hotel is to go swimming with a bunch of old Jews.  Now, I don't know much about Florida, but I do know that swimming with old Jews is about as Floridian as you can get.  Kevin's a fucking hypocrite is my point.

Someone also tells him that "good deeds count extra tonight," referring to Christmas eve, which is basically telling kids to cram for their niceness as opposed to simply avoiding being naughty all year.  Cartman tries to achieve this in an episode of South Park, but after employing Kyle's cousin to do the accounting, he learns that he has to cure cancer and AIDS to even come close.  That's not really relevant, but the more you know.

Anyway, the video I promised!  It's actually related to both the original and the sequel, so double relevant.

As you can see, Kevin is actually a monster and should be put on trial for two dozen counts of attempted murder.  Haha, just kidding, he's the hero!  Everything he does should be applauded!  Double just kidding, I really sided more with the Sticky Bandits just because I felt so bad for them.  All they wanted to do was rob a toy store, and in return, they're tortured by a sadistic little boy.

Although it has it's sweet moments, the film is overall a bit more watered down in the sentiment department than its predecessor.  In other words, shovel man beats pigeon lady.

Rating on the feel-good-o-meter: 4 out of 10 hugs