12/26-A Christmas Story (1983)

I talked early on during this marathon about how nostalgia can really work wonders on how a movie makes you feel.  A mediocre movie that you would watch whenever you were sick can seem like the best movie ever because of the warm fuzzies you feel thinking about the good ol' days.  This is a movie that a love of people love so very much.  For many, it was the Christmas tradition.  Having a Christmas party?  Pop A Christmas Story in for the background!  Everyone's seen it, so they can just pop in and out whenever!

Well, I never saw this as a kid.  I once went to a party where it was on, like described above, but I didn't really watch it because again, I'd never seen it before and watching it at a party is not the right atmosphere for your first time.  I say all this to preface the fact this movie a little hard to relate to if you didn't grow up with it or you didn't live during the 40s.

I'm not saying that the movie can't be enjoyable if neither of those requirements apply to you, but without them, the movie becomes nothing really that special.  Truth be told, there're are really only two things in this movie that I can relate to, wanting a toy gun and being told no by my mom (more from the "guns are bad" mentality than "you'll shoot your eye out," but I definitely heard that a time or two), and what hits more closely to home: eating Chinese food on Christmas.  Although, to be fair, we usually went to perpetuate the stereotypes of Jews eating Chinese food and going to the movies.  I had planned on seeing The Interview this Christmas, but that whole debacle ruined those plans, so I saw the wonderful Big Hero 6 instead.

Anyway, the story is actually very simple.  Ralphie wants a Red Ryder BB gun for Christmas, his mom says no because he'll shoot his eye out, his dad gets it anyway, then he shoots hit eye (thank god for glasses!), the end.

Yes, there were other things that happened, but really its just filling in days until Christmas.  It is interesting that the film is a memory, so some things don't really happen they way we see them play out.  For example we see the teacher as the Wicked Witch of the West at one point, which is one of several references to The Wizard of Oz, which helps to date the movie some time shortly after 1939, since the movie itself doesn't give a date.  Speaking of the teacher, there's a gross scene early on when all the kids "prank" the teacher by wearing fake teeth.

Got 'em!

The teacher then has everyone come and put the teeth in her hand so she can put them in her drawer of shit she's confiscated from the kids.  Like it's disgusting that she takes the teeth directly from mouth to hand.  From like 30 kids.  That's a lot bacteria all up on your hands.  Ugh.  Gross.

There were also a few lines that wouldn't be as kosher today, for example: "The old man loved bargaining as much as an Arab trader, and he was twice as shrewd."  Pretty sure we shouldn't be saying that anymore.  Another line about the father that I particularly liked was one describing his use of foul language.  "He worked in profanity the way other artists might work in oils or clay. It was his true medium; a master."  It's just such a lovely way to look at cursing, and lord knows I love cursing.

So again, without nostalgia, the movie was fine, though nothing particularly special, at least as far as I could see.  That said, I would never question why someone might love this movie, it's just not gonna become my tradition.

Rating on the feel-good-o-meter: 5 out of 10 hugs